Sometimes as much as you know and learn, you are stilll unsure ... where is that certainty that I am suppose to have? The pull of the dunia is so strong that sometimes we just have to push it away and keep it locked.
Asad, my youngest son in many ways I feel is different from his brothers. To start with I had complications when I was carrying him and he was a premature baby. So when he was born he was hospitalized for a month. When he was born, the first week we were not sure if he would survive as he was so tiny and had all these wires all over his body and needing antibiotics daily which costs a bomb till I moved him to a government hospital.
Being the youngest and the way he came into the world, I guess I gave in a little too much. His brothers started school at the age of three and a half and are now a year ahead of their class, while Asad started school at age six.. His brothers are head to head in their Qur'an, they are independent and way ahead in maturity, while Asad is still in baby years.
I do not see Asad's development like his brother's. To me Asad is a wonderful boy - loving, smart, playful, caring but there is a side of him that is still in dreamland and does not want to be waken up. I am somehow confused as to how I want to proceed with my tarbiyyah for him. I do not believe that I should force him to do something that he has no interest in and right now school is of no interest to him ... or is he a late bloomer ?
I have in my mind to take him out from school next year and just concentrate him on Qur'an ... I should be certain that this is the best decision I could make but why am I not? Rasulullah s.a.w said " the best of you are those that learn the Qur'an and teaches it" .... I should not have any doubt. Whatever it is, having the knowledge of the Qur'an will gain him both dunia and akhirat. I am in the best place for him to take this knowledge and most importantly, there is no one to stop me from making this decision, but why am I hesitant? I guess I am thinking to much about the dunia.
I know that I need to make syura and istikharah and do more homework as to exactly what are my plans for him. I am sure that there is a reason why I am thinking hard about Asad and before I make any decision, I need to outline the path ahead with some clarity. And if I do decide to take this path, it will require resilience and patience on my side to stay firm on the chosen path for him.
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| My little baby who is not so little or baby anymore |
Being the youngest and the way he came into the world, I guess I gave in a little too much. His brothers started school at the age of three and a half and are now a year ahead of their class, while Asad started school at age six.. His brothers are head to head in their Qur'an, they are independent and way ahead in maturity, while Asad is still in baby years.
I do not see Asad's development like his brother's. To me Asad is a wonderful boy - loving, smart, playful, caring but there is a side of him that is still in dreamland and does not want to be waken up. I am somehow confused as to how I want to proceed with my tarbiyyah for him. I do not believe that I should force him to do something that he has no interest in and right now school is of no interest to him ... or is he a late bloomer ?
I have in my mind to take him out from school next year and just concentrate him on Qur'an ... I should be certain that this is the best decision I could make but why am I not? Rasulullah s.a.w said " the best of you are those that learn the Qur'an and teaches it" .... I should not have any doubt. Whatever it is, having the knowledge of the Qur'an will gain him both dunia and akhirat. I am in the best place for him to take this knowledge and most importantly, there is no one to stop me from making this decision, but why am I hesitant? I guess I am thinking to much about the dunia.
I know that I need to make syura and istikharah and do more homework as to exactly what are my plans for him. I am sure that there is a reason why I am thinking hard about Asad and before I make any decision, I need to outline the path ahead with some clarity. And if I do decide to take this path, it will require resilience and patience on my side to stay firm on the chosen path for him.
