Blood Is Thicker Than Water

I come from a family of 3 elder brothers and a younger sister.  When our parents were around, they were really the center of our lives and we were always like homing pigeons most of the time finding our way back to our nest.  After my mom died in 1990, my dad came to live with me and my house became the place where my siblings would gather.  However, this did not go on for very long as dad died 4 years later after mom.  Everyone of my siblings were married and have their own family and naturally after our parents died, they were gathering for celeberations at their in-laws.

my 3rd brother

I am very close to my third brother, he has been my confidant, my friend - he gave me the care and the love that I needed from a family.  Throughout the times that I was "going through the laundry", this brother of mine has always been there, to support me, pacify me, give me strength and above all love me unconditionally.  

When I later decided to escape to Yemen, I had his full support - but he also made it a condition that I never go back to my husband, after seeing the traumatic life that I had to go through.  If I did, he would not want to have anything to do with me.  I can understand this condition and I could understand how he felt when I decided to accept hubby back into my life while I was already in exile in Yemen.  Sometimes in life, you have to make choices and these choices may not be understandable to other people, and once you make them you have to live with the consequences of the choice.  So I lived with the consequence of not being in contact with my family for as long as I was married to him.  It was either lose my eldest son totally (as he was with my husband in Malaysia when I left for Yemen) or lose my family.   Anyway, my two month istikharah guided me to accept my husband back into my life.

I knew the conseqeunces of my decision and I knew how disappointed all my brothers were.  We all have our own lives to live and choices we have to make that would be in the best interest of the people that we are responsible for.  So I lived without being in contact with my brothers for almost 4 years.  I knew that one day my brothers will forgive me.

When I finally decided to amputate the gangrene in my life, I knew it was time to contact my brothers again.  I wrote all of them an email, and true to my belief, they forgave me.  My third brother was the first to call me - and we were just like we were before and he said to me "blood is thicker then water" meaning you can try to cut the ties of kinship but it will never be broken. 

Last week, my brother met my Yemeni brother who went back to Malaysia to spend Eid with his Malaysian family.  I was really happy that they met as they are both part of my life and at least my brother got to know about me and my life in Yemen from my Yemeni brother.  He also sent me two boxes of food and today called me, so excited for me to receive things from him.  I am also happy to hear that my Yemeni brother shared with him the progress of my life here in Sana'a and I think he is comfortable to know that Allah swt has sent good people here to take care of me.

To me, following the guidance from istikharah was important. We may not realize the wisdom in Allah's decision immediately but the wisdom is definitely there. In this case, four years later - I have all my three precious boys with me and my relationship with my family is repaired - I lost them temporarily but I now regained both of the things that are precious to me - my son and my family.  


What was utmost important was patience and trust in Allah's guidance.