Searching Out To Reach HIM

In life, everything we do we have to do it with knowledge, if not we would just be doing it blindly without any reason and when there is no reason, there is no conviction.  I began my journey on the road less travelled in 1995 mostly by reading.  I could never get enough of what I was reading and was amazed to find out things about my faith that I never knew before.  Thinking back, I felt so stupid at how ignorant I was.  To give you example, when reading about history and it talks about the companions, I was like "who are these companions that they keep mentioning about".  That, my friends, is really ignorant, but our education system is built in such a way to keep us as far away from the deen as possible that we do not even know about much our faith, its history, its great leaders and of course our ultimate leader Rasulullah s.a.w. and how we are suppose to implement our faith in our lives.  We live our faith corrupted with other values that we pick up from medias that are used to brainwash us.

I was also seeking out the right crowd to join and in the search I joined a few groups but suffice to say, Allah swt  placed in my heart uneasiness when I saw that what was practiced was in contradiction to what I was reading at that time.  I also believe that you cannot just read alone, but you need a teacher, a guide, someone who can give you the right guidance and motivation.  Reading alone is not enough to give you the conviction that is required when you take this path.  (please keep in mind that I am writing from my experience and the experience of others could be totally different) .  In early 1999, I went for my hajj, and it is here that I made du'a that HE swt would send me someone to teach me to understand the Qur'an and the Sunnah.  How many of us understand what we read from THE BOOK that is suppose to be the guide in our lives?

Hardly one month coming back from hajj, I met my teacher.  From him I learned word for word translation of the Qur'an, Arabic along with it and with each meeting, he would always give us tafsir from the verses that we were learning, sometime using other verses from the Qur'an to explain and other times using hadeeth.  I saw how he was committed implementing Qur'an and Sunnah in his life and this motivated me so much to do the same.  I took knowledge from him for 2.5 years after which he was detained under ISA.  This was right after September 11 and the reason for this was that he was propagating jihad.  But history has seen that anyone propagating truth (that is Qur'an and Sunnah in the true sense), was always wrongfully jailed.   Two years later he was deported back to his country of origin.

I was back reading my books again because most of the other Islamic lectures I attended never really captured my heart as my first teacher has set a high standard of expectation in me.  What I was reading at that time interested me very much that I wanted to get in touch with the scholar writing the books.  Just my luck, two of my friends knew him personally and usually host him at their homes whenever he came to visit Malaysia.  I got in touch with him through email, and started translating one of his books.  Whenever he came to Malaysia, I would host lectures at my house, arrange for him to give lectures in masjids, drive him and his wife around, all this so I can just take as much knowledge from him as possible.  This particular scholar helped me to understand the Qur'an and putting in perspective events happening today in light of the Qur'an.  I still continue to keep in touch with him through email and whenever he has a new book coming I am always privy to read the drafts and thanks to technology I am still able to keep up with his thoughts on current events in light of the Qur'an.

Later I found the group of people taking knowledge from various sunnah scholars, and I did join in their lectures but it was never like my first teacher who was full of conviction, but nevertheless I did join to learn as much as I could.  My reading continued.

Apart from reading and attending lectures, I also listened to many overseas lecturers and one in particular that I like so much was also jailed.  But alhamdulillah, I managed to get all his lectures before they closed his website.  I also had the opportunity to meet with when he was released, and was arranging to have him do lectures when was warned that doing that could get us deported.  I do not know if you are seeing trends as you are reading this, but I sure can see that anyone propagating the true knowledge will have their fate in jail.

It is really amazing how Allah swt puts love in your heart for HIS slaves that propagates truth and those that strives to implement the Qur'an and Sunnah in their lives.  I love all these scholars those that I have met and those that I have not even met and I love most of the people that I have met striving on this path.  It is hard to explain to you but the love for each other but is almost immediate and it is united by the love for HIM.  These people that I meet striving to practise the Sunnah are also great motivators for me. To see their conviction is already motivation alone.

I did not learn only through books, attending lectures and listening to them, but I had the great blessing from Allah swt to put them into practise through the many trials and tribulations that HE has so decided for me.  This was by far the most important phase of my learning process.  It helped me to get up to speed to where I need to be in my relationship with HIM swt.  I realized that what is important is how we react to those tests, not the tests itself.  It is how we react that determines how much we have actually acquired in the knowledge that we seeked. Contemplation also plays a big role in moving yourself from one level of practise to another.

Seeking out to search HIM never stops, life has become less confusing and I am able to understand more the things that happened in my life and why they happened and it has given me tranquility and peace of mind.  It is only in search of HIM will one realize the great blessings that HE has bestowed upon us and then only will  we learn to be humble, grateful and obedient servants.

Knowledge does not give apart of itself to you till you dedicate yourself wholly to it.  If you give yourself entirely to it, you will still be given apart of it.
Wisdom is the believer's long cherished goal, he takes it wherever and whenever it is found.