A Part I Left Behind ... My Tok Ngah

When I left for Yemen back in 2006, I left some parts of me back home and one in particular was an old lady who was very dear to me and my family.  She was whom we call Tok Ngah.  I don't know how old exactly she is, but she must be in her mid to late 80's now, as you know how the earlier generation do not really know their age.

Tok Ngah was actually my late mother's maid. She lived with my mom for 40 years. When my mom passed away, Tok Ngah came to live with me.  Tok Ngah, Deeni and I lived together for 8 years until I remarried, and when that took place, she also followed me into my new life for the next 8 years, so she lived with me for a total of 16 years and in the family for 56 years.  She was like a mother to me, someone I love very much.  During the times that she lived with me, I treated her like my own mother, took care of her every need - and I do mean her every need.  She was as devastated seeing the things that I had to go through, but it was not her place to say anything but she was always there to comfort me.

When I left for Yemen, I could not take her with me, as I was on the run and had really no place to call home at that time.  So she was left with my brother, whom she loved very much too.  A few months after I left for Yemen, I found out that she was staying with her son, whom she had never lived with all her life, so that appeared to be strange to me.  I came back to Malaysia in 2008 for a three week visit and took her to stay with me for two weeks.  I had offered for her to come and stay with me in Yemen but she was afraid to die in a foreign land, which is typical of an old lady's thinking.  Early this year, 2010, Deeni went to visit Tok Ngah in Johor.  Tok Ngah wants so badly to live with me and Deeni and the boys.  I wish that I could make her dreams come true.

Last night I spoke to my sister and was really sad to hear of Tok Ngah's condition.  Her son's wife had passed away in April of this year, meaning that there is really no one that is really tending to her.  When my sister went to see her, she had lost weight and all she spoke of was death, which is understandable.  I have asked my sister to ask her if she wants to come and live with me in Yemen, and if she so decides I will be happy to take care of her here until it is time for her to return to our original home.

For everything that happens, there must be a reason.  I do not know what the reasons are for this one, but all I could think of was, we had her for 56 years of her life, maybe Allah swt in HIS infinite knowledge and mercy wanted her son to have the opportunity to spend time with his mother and give his services to his mother.  I do not know if Allah swt will grant me my wish, which I am sure is also Tok Ngah's wish - but whatever it is, I know that HE has decided everything in our best interest and that we have to accept it as that.  I can only make du'a that Tok Ngah will have happiness till her last breath, because she is one special lady, pure in heart and intention.

It is also amazing that in her I see that Allah truly takes care of HIS servants, so have no fear as HE is the PROVIDER, the MERCIFUL.